Red Forman quotes
Son, you don't have bad luck.The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.
I mean, he's kind of... He's an ass. And he's dumb. He's a...dumb-ass.
Eric: Can we get in the car and turn on the heat? I'm freezing. Red: I'm not wasting gas just so you can be comfortable.
Bob: Well, I guess the truth hurts. Red: So does a swift kick in the ass.
What are you gonna put on your resume? Dumbass ?
It's called Veteran's Day, not... Pansy-ass, National Guard... Wussy, Pansy-ass Day.
I'm not loving anybody that I'm not legally required to.
Hyde's dad: I've never really been a dad before. I'm just trying to take it easy, be his friend. Red: Why would you be friends with a 17-year-old? They're idiots.
Look, in order for Eric to be a happy, well-adjusted adult, he has to be miserable now. That's just good parenting.
Right now I am too angry to pretend to give a crap about what you think!
I like you, Bob. You don't borrow my things. You keep your lawn mowed. But the fact of the matter is, you're an ass.
Red: Eric, what did I tell you about being funny? Eric: I'm not. Red: That's right. Now, sweep the garage.
What the hell happened to Bob's hair?...His head looks like a poodle's ass.
I know it's difficult to hear with your head up your ass.
When my time comes, I wanna be buried facedown so that anyone who doesn't like me can kiss my ass.
Eric: Hey, Dad. Sorry. Didn't see you there. Red: Well, I guess that's 'cause you were too busy making an ass of yourself.
Red: I can't help you if you cry, Bob. Bob: These are tears of joy, Red. Red: Yeah, that's bad too, Bob.
Kitty, I think we should rethink our "Don't Throw Leo Out On His Ass" policy.
Red: Yeah, but I don't love Bob and Midge. Kitty: I have to invite them over. They keep inviting us. Red: That's because you keep inviting them. Somebody's gotta break the chain or it'll go on forever.
Damn kids today. They wouldn't know responsibility if it walked up and bit 'em in the ass!